Is Elton John Correct? Is Pope Francis a ‘Hero’ for LGBT People?

Elton John

This week, Pope Francis received exuberant praise from openly gay British rock star, Elton John.  At an annual HIV/AIDS fundraiser, John called the pope his “hero.  The Guardian newspaper explains the context and elaboration of that remark:

“Sir Elton John has called Pope Francis his ‘hero’ for his compassionate drive to accept gay people in the Catholic church.

“At John’s annual AIDS benefit concert in New York City, the singer said Francis was pushing boundaries in the church and told the crowd: “Make this man a saint now, OK?”

“ ‘Ten years ago one of the biggest obstacles in the fight against AIDS was the Catholic church. Today we have a pope that speaks out about it,’ said John, earning cheers from the attendees at Cipriani’s on Wall Street. . . .

” ‘He is a compassionate, loving man who wants everybody to be included in the love of God,’ John said of the pope. ‘It is formidable what he is trying to do against many, many people in the church that oppose [him]. He is courageous and he is fearless, and that’s what we need in the world today.’ ”

Praise from such a prominent secular gay advocate surely shows how positively Pope Francis’ message of inclusion is received by the world beyond the Catholic Church. But it shows something else, too, I think.

Is Elton John right? Is Pope Francis a saint?

Elton John’s praise shows that probably a good portion of the world sees that Pope Francis is trying to develop a new approach to LGBT issues.  Despite the minor setback that the synod’s final report caused in the movement for greater welcome, people are picking up, instead, on the idea that Pope Francis is pushing for greater reforms.

Perception vs. reality?  Pope Francis has certainly done more for LGBT people than any other pope, by his simple and powerful gestures and statements.  Yet, we have yet to hear direct support for LGBT inclusion.  We see him nudging the Church in a direction that is more welcoming, but we don’t see him making bold statements.

Is his nudging a strategy?  For example, would making bold statements alarm too many conservatives?  On the other hand, is his simple nudging a way of simply providing new window dressing for the same old, same old?  Frankly, it’s hard to say.

I tend to be an optimistic person and one who favors pragmatic solutions over ideal ones.  So, I guess I lean toward the side that Pope Francis may be more genuine in his welcome than not.  Part of my perception is that I see the pragmatic effects of his nudging:  pastoral leaders are becoming a little more courageous.  Perhaps not much, but somewhat less fearful.

What do you think?  Is Pope Francis really as good as Elton John says he is?  Why do you think he is or isn’t?  Leave your answer in the “Comments” section of this post.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

Murdered Transgender Woman’s Catholic Funeral Is a Moment of Hope and Healing

” ‘We don’t eat without praying first. We don’t sleep without saying a prayer. Where were you [God] when this happened?…She had so many dreams and that killer destroyed them all’ ”

These are the laments of Julita Laude, mother of Jennifer Laude, a transgender woman allegedly murdered by a US Marine in the Philippines. The killing has made headlines for increasing tensions between the countries and raising questions about an ongoing American military presence in the Philippines.

Less noted has been the Catholic community’s response in helping Julita mourn her daughter’s death and showing respect to LGBT people in the heavily religious nation. According to PhilStar, Jennifer was “a devout Catholic,” but as an openly transgender woman it is not a given she would be granted a Catholic burial in the highly conservative Filipino church.

Jennifer Laude

Thankfully, compassionate (and Christ-like) principles guided Laude’s funeral and her life was celebrated in a way respectful of her gender identity. While Laude’s death emerges from the most tragic of circumstances, her funeral is a healing moment and one of great hope for Catholics, LGBT people, and Catholic LGBT people, especially in the Philippines. ABSCBN News notes:

“For many people watching along the streets of Olongapo City, the spectacle that is the funeral procession for transgender woman Jennifer Laude speaks of many things.

“To the religious, it is an indirect acceptance of the lesbian, gays, bisexuals, and transgender (LGBT) community into the Roman Catholic mainstream, something that was previously a cause of concern. This is the first time that a transgender woman’s funeral has been thrust into the spotlight and together, the issues surrounding it.

“For the LGBT community, it is a chance to put forward the rights of their kind, while battling the shaming that is ongoing not only in the streets but in social media as well.”

Laude’s funeral procession from the church to the burial site included dozens of family, friends, LGBT advocates, and mourners of all types, who can be seen in this slideshow.

This is not the first high-profile funeral of a transgender person, as the Jesuit mother church in Rome held one last year for Andrea Quintero who was murdered on the streets of that city. However, this moment is quite worthy of Catholics’ reflection. There are still too many damaging experiences at church for LGBT people, like denying communion to same-sex couples, for us to disregard the really good moments too quickly.

This moment shows a more positive approach is plausible and more life-giving. In the wake of a painful tragedy and in the midst of conflict, Catholic ministers mediated God’s love through the sacramental life of the church. A priest responded to a mother’s anguish by celebrating her daughter’s life in a Catholic church, respectful of the victim’s gender identity. A victimized community, whose suffering is in no small part due to ingrained Catholic prejudices, could be respected by Catholic leaders in this moment for who they are, who they love, and how they identity.

Yet, there is a challenge for the church too. Jennifer Laude’s death was, by all accounts, a hate crime. She was killed because transgender people are routinely dehumanized, and religions are deeply implicated in  transphobia. The Catholic community must step back when transgender people face such elevated levels of violence and of discrimination to ask how we are complicit.

As Catholic leaders consider issues around family life in the coming year, perhaps they can look to Jennifer Laude’s funeral as both a hopeful sign that LGBT pastoral care is possible and an informative moment for how much work remains to be done when it comes to LGBT human rights.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Catholic Social Worker Bridges Gaps Between Religious Parents and LGBT Youth

Though our society has made great strides towards greater acceptance of LGBT people, it can’t be forgotten that there are still many places where people who are coming to self-awareness and self-acceptance face great struggles.  The wider discussion of LGBT issues in our culture is helping people come out at younger ages because they are more knowledgeable about sexual orientation and gender identity questions than other generations were able to be. But this also means that young LGBT people are facing more family pressures at ages when they are more vulnerable than people in years past who came out when they were more established in their lives.

Caitlin Ryan

Perhaps no one knows more about what theses family pressures are than Caitlin Ryan, PhD, a social worker and researcher, who started the Family Acceptance Project (FAP) at San Francisco State University. The Project, according to their website is “a research, intervention, education and policy initiative that works to prevent health and mental health risks for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) children and youth, including suicide, homelessness and HIV – in the context of their families.”

Through her research, Ryan, a lesbian woman and a Catholic, has identified scores of responses that families give to their young LGBT members, and shows how the negative responses put these youth at greater risk for poor sexual health, HIV infection, substance use, depression, suicide, and low self-esteem.  Perhaps more importantly, she also shows how specific family accepting reactions protect against risk and promote self-esteem and well-being.

In a New York Times profile about her work, Ryan explained that principles from her Catholic upbringing helped to shape the way she approaches her research.  The article describes her early work with HIV patients, and how that opened her eyes and heart to the important work of human reconciliation that needed to be done:

“ ‘I saw something very few people saw,’ Dr. Ryan recalled. ‘This deep, profound connection that superseded dogma and doctrine. I saw the language of the heart.’

“Right then, she recognized her calling: to enable those reconciliations during life rather than at the portal of death. As Dr. Ryan received her validation the way scholars do — publication in peer-reviewed journals, six-figure grants as a principal investigator on research projects, a faculty position at San Francisco State University — she conducted extensive field work among homeless gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teenagers in the Bay Area, as well as with parents of gay children. She and her academic colleagues documented a strong correlation between rejection by families and such dangerous youthful behaviors as drug abuse, unprotected sex and suicide attempts.”

Ryan’s research, educational efforts, and family intervention work now extend to specialized resource materials for families from particular faith backgrounds.  As she describes her work, she recognized that though some religious parents may have moral objections to a child’s sexual orientation or gender identity, almost all parents want what is good for their children, and do not want harm to come to them.  Her work builds on this common ground and helps parents to avoid family rejecting behaviors that can result in harmful outcomes for their children (such as an 8-times greater likelihood of attempted suicide), and to engage in supportive behaviors that strengthen families and increase their LGBT children’s self-esteem, self-worth and well-being.

Her research and family intervention work foster reconciliation and help people, regardless of their morality, to protect young people and support their overall health and wellness.  Indeed, Ryan sees the spiritual side to her work, and self-effacingly noted in the Times profile:

“ ‘I’m still a Catholic schoolgirl,’ said Dr. Ryan, who regularly attends church to this day. ‘Modesty and humility were values that were instilled in me. I don’t feel right taking credit. It’s not my work. It’s a spiritual practice and a sacred trust.’ ”

Ryan is a featured speaker at this year’s Call To Action conference in Memphis, November 7th to 9th.  Along with Fortunate Families President Deb Word, she will be conducting a day-long program entitled “Parent Day of Advocacy, Support, and Reflection.”  The conference brochure offers this description:

“This pre-session day will be spent with parents and families of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender children and is also open to those who advocate for LGBTQ persons. Education and prayerful reflection the morning session will include a presentation by Dr. Caitlin Ryan on the Family Acceptance Project’s award winning Best Practices approach to prevent suicide and homelessness for LGBTQ youth. The afternoon will concentrate on parent stories, shared reflections and spiritual direction.”

For more information about the day, click here.

Caitlin Ryan’s work is life-saving.  The fact that she can work with parents who would usually be described as “homophobic” or “transphobic” and can help them to follow their hearts to do what is best for their child’s well-being is a blessing for all. It forces me to wonder:  Wouldn’t it be great if such a program existed for Catholic Church leaders to deal in healthy ways with the LGBT people in their congregations?

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Oh, The Things Bishops Say…

Just because the media (including us here at Bondings 2.0) was focused on the synod, that does not mean other bishops have not made statements in recent months about a variety of LGBT issues.

Below are public statements from bishops worth noting, though not for their positive and Pope Francis-like inclusion. While progress is happening, these comments are an important reminder that church leaders still have a long way to go towards full acceptance of LGBT people.

Missouri — Bishop James Johnston of Springfield-Cape Girardeau wrote a letter against the city’s LGBT-inclusive non-discrimination ordinance that has since passed city council, according to KSPR 33. Johnston argued that religious liberty was being infringed, saying in part, ” ‘Do the people of Springfield really want to make criminals of persons who are merely trying to live their faith?’ ” Fortunately, city officials understood that nowhere in the United States has the advancement of LGBT civil rights impeded religious belief, and they passed the ordinance.

Bologna, Italy — Bishop Giovanni Silvagni called that city’s decision to recognize foreign same-gender marriages a “surprise attack” and that these “sensitive subjects that are dealt with slogan attacks and and an approach a bit ideological,” according to Gazzetta del Sud.

Arkansas — Bishop Anthony Taylor of Little Rock filed a harshly worded legal brief in support of failed lawsuits to stop marriage equality from coming to that state. In the brief, the Human Rights Campaign reports Taylor suggested “that allowing committed same-sex couples to marry would lead to unions of ‘couples such as mother and daughter, sister and sister, or brother and brother.’ ” He also called for LGBT civil rights to be put before voters.

Trinidad & Tobago — Archbishop Joseph Harris of Port of Spain reaffirmed his opposition to the Draft Gender Policy, while criticizing the nation’s prime minister, Persad Bissessar, for claiming it was “tremendous opposition, especially from the Roman Catholic group” which was blocking the LGBT-positive law. Bissessar is also facing criticism from an LGBT group for suggesting a referendum about decriminalizing homosexuality, reports the Jamaica Observer.

Statements by Catholic bishops against LGBT people and their civil rights can cause tremendous harm, not only to LGBT people, but to the church and society, as well. Yet, there are also positive signs that negative and even prejudiced remarks like those above are not the only messages being offered by Catholic leaders. Indeed, there are already many cardinals, bishops, and clergy who have openly expressed support for LGBT people and even their relationships in limited, varied ways. You can access a full listing of “Church Leaders Supporting Same-Gender Couples” by clicking here.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

NEWS NOTES: Synod Perspectives from Catholic Writers and Commentators

Continuing to follow-through on our promise to provide links to the wealth of opinion and analysis that the synod on the family has generated, we offer these links to articles from the Catholic press or by Catholic authors and commentators:

1.  In The Washington Blade, Kathi Wolfe offers her views on the synod, noting that Catholic feminist theologian Mary Hunt pointed out an important shortcoming of the synod participants who were all celiibats men: “They don’t make the mature adult decisions that you make when you’re part of a family unit – with spouses and children.”

2.   Women-Church Convergence, a coalition of feminist Catholic groups, issued a statement affirming the holiness of all families, and criticized the synod for failing to include the voices of women in the decision-making process, saying in part: “A group of men who fail to protect the children of our Church from sexual abuse, and who repeatedly sacrifice children to shield the offenders, has no credibility saying anything about what families need. A group of men who have no need for contraception has no standing to deny women access to appropriate reproductive health services. A group of men without experience of wedded life has no right to legislate who should and should not be married. The egregious omission of women and families in forming Church policy has a devastating impact on Catholics and others worldwide.”

3.  Writing at AlJazeera.com, Nathan Schneider observes that part of the reason LGBT issues were not more positively accepted at the synod is because the call for equality still remains a Western value: “The conversation about same-sex partnerships has hardly even begun on the Catholic time scale, and in the context of a global church. Just because some of us in certain parts of the world are sold on an idea doesn’t mean we can impose it on the whole church; that’s a habit of the church’s colonizing past that needs to be put to rest. The Roman Catholic Church has stretched over the centuries to incorporate the gifts of non-European cultures, and it still has much stretching left to do.”

4.  Sister Mary Ann Walsh, a commentator for America magazine, wrote about “The Promise of Synod 2014,” pointing out a number of important contributions the synod process made, including these three:

• “The 2014 Synod elevated the conversation. Whispered questions about why Aunt Jane never goes to Communion and why Uncle Jack never married have made it into the parlor. The presence in the church community of people who divorced and remarried without an annulment and lesbians and gays found a healthy acknowledgement. . . .
• “The church acknowledges there may be pastoral solutions to long-standing problems. Nothing heals better than fresh air. For many, the pain silently endured by people forced to the fringes has developed individuals beloved in their families for their generosity and kindness and particular sensitivity. Now they just might receive some of the generosity, kindness and sensitivity they’ve offered others for years.
• “There is proof that doctrine is not dead. What’s dead does not change; what is alive does. So long as doctrine addresses current reality it shows it is alive and holds meaning for people today.”

5.  At Crux.com, Michael O’Loughlin presented a variety of opinions about the synod from Catholics concerned about LGBT issues, including Deb Word, president of Fortunate Families, who said:  “The conversation that began at the Synod on the Family isn’t over — in fact it’s just beginning. . . .[P]ro-gay Catholic groups will keep reaching out to the bishops to offer suggestions about how the Catholic Church can better minister to Catholic families like mine.”

6.  Jesuit Father James Martin has been quoted widely in the religious and secular press on the synod’s report and processes.  In addition, he has written two online essays which provide insights:

1. In an America magazine blog post, “Five Things the Synod Just Did,” Martin notes that the meeting brought a new conversation to the Church, and that the pope’s process very much reflects the Jesuit value of “discernment.”
2. Fr. Martin elaborated on the above theme in a separate essay for Reuters.com, in which he discussed “What the Synod of Bishops that discussed divorced, LGBT Catholics did – and didn’t – do.”  In both essays he stresses the point that the real answers will be discussed at the 2015 synod.

7.  In a National Catholic Reporter blog post which carries the opinions about the synod from three Catholic academics, Julie Hanlon Rubio of St. Louis University, author of Family Ethics: Practices for Christians, stated: “The major shifts I see at work in the document released today are these: a willingness to see the diversity of Catholic families and listen to their ideas, a desire to find creative pastoral solutions that allow the church to welcome everyone, and a willingness to see good in the imperfect. All of shifts seem rooted in a more fundamental move to imitate Jesus, especially embracing his call for mercy.”

8.  The Baltimore Sun reported on a group of about 30 Catholic LGBT advocates who held a prayer vigil at the city’s Basilica of the Assumption of the BVM on the day that the synod’s final report was issued.  The event was organized by the Human Rights Campaign and Call To Action.

9.  During the synod, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) ran a series of blog posts written by Catholic leaders about their hopes for the meeting and the future of the Church.  These posts were written by HRC’s Lisbeth Melendez Rivera,  the Pacific School of Religion’s Bernard Schlager, DignityUSA’s Jim Smith, Call To Action’s Ellen Euclide, transgender leader Hilary Howes, Cincinnati’s Anna Brown, and  New Ways Ministry’s Francis DeBernardo.

10.  In a National Catholic Reporter blog post.  Sister Christine Schenck, CSJ, former executive director of FutureChurch, offered this suggestion: “It is my sincere hope that church leaders will actively seek out the lived experiences of divorced and remarried and gay and lesbian Catholics before making any decisions about pastoral practice. They should also listen carefully to Catholic parents using unapproved methods of family planning.”

11. Catholics in San Antonio, Texas, responded to the synod in an article in The San Antonio Express-News.  Members of the local Dignity chapter expressed their views, and Fr. Stephen Bernal, a local pastor offered the hope:  “We believe the Holy Father is very simply wanting us to look at all people the way God looks at them — with love and understanding and compassion — that everyone is a precious gift.”

12. In a very tongue-in-cheek essay on Philly.com, Orlando Barone says that the synod’s unfinished business leaves him in a quandary about whether or not he should invite lesbian/gay people and divorced/remarried Catholics to his Thanksgiving dinner.  He ends, however, on a very serious note:  “My imagination falters in its efforts to conjure anything more awful than lifting the Bread of Life and turning it into a rock to throw at the lost sheep, the prodigal son, the woman caught in adultery. I could never allow such a horrible thing to happen at my Thanksgiving table. I pray the church, following its pope’s lead, will not allow such a thing to happen at its Thanksgiving table, the Table of Jesus, the Bread of Life.”

13. Fordham University theology professor Patrick Hornbeck penned a CNN.com essay in which he explains that neither the first draft nor the final report of the synod went far enough in dealing with LGBT issues.  He concluded:  “Many believe that the synod reversed course with regard to LGBT people and same-sex unions. But that reversal seems much less dramatic when one considers the full implications of the synod’s much-celebrated initial document. Far from accepting and celebrating same-sex relationships as the signs of divine and human love that so many people — gay, straight, Catholic, non-Catholic — are finding in them, that document actually charted a path where those relationships could at best have only been tolerated in the church. It is clear that by avoiding a more searching examination of the presumptions about gender and sexuality that Catholic theology has inherited, the synod members did not fully confront the truly seismic anthropological, cultural and theological shifts that have occurred in the past few decades.”

14. In an essay on NJLive.com, Father Alexander Santora, a pastor in Hoboken, praised the synod’s attempts to affirm LGBT people, and noted that though a rocky road is still ahead, there is reason for hope:  “. . . [T]his process is filled with land mines, most notably some conservative prelates, even in the Vatican curia, who do not want any change in tone, theology or teaching. But that also happened at the Second Vatican Council and St. John XXIII dispatched them graciously. Francis has been compared to John and some see his two-year synod process as almost important as the teachings that emanated from Vatican II.”

15. Dignity/New York voices were featured in a CBSNews.com report on synod reactions, including the opinion of longtime member Brendan Fay, who said: “We may not personally need the affirmation [of Vatican bishops] because we have found that among ourselves.”

16. Though much of the synod headlines focused on LGBT issues and divorce, National Catholic Reporter columnist, Jamie Manson, a Catholic lesbian, asks the question: “Why isn’t anyone talking about the synod’s paragraphs on contraception?”

17.  Gay Catholic blogger Terence Weldon, who posts at  QueeringTheChurch.com, summed up the synod with the headline: “For Gay Catholics, Nothing Has Changed – Everything Is Changing.”  At the conclusion, he notes: “Above all, what has changed is the simple fact that what for so long was presented as “constant and unchanging tradition”, delivered from on high to a meek and acquiescent laity, is now firmly up for frank discussion. That has already occurred at the synod in a manner that would have been unthinkable under the previous two popes, and will now be starting worldwide, at all levels of the Church.”

18. USA Today queried college students about the synod in an article entitled “New Vatican document stirs discussion and hope among Catholic students” and found that they welcomed the meeting and its open discussion.

19.  New Ways Ministry’s Francis DeBernardo and DignityUSA’s Marianne Duddy-Burke gave their responses to the synod’s final document in an article by The Advocate entitled “After Catholic Synod: Disappointment, Yet Hope Remains.”

20. New Ways Ministry’s Francis DeBernardo gave further reactions to the synod when he appeared on MSNBC’s News Nation with Tamron Hall.  You can view that segment by clicking here.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

 

Celebrating 50 Years, National Catholic Reporter Comes Out (Again) for LGBT Church Workers

The National Catholic Reporter‘s most recent editorial comes out strongly in support of fired church workers, responding to the spate of LGBT-related employment actions that have caused at least 17 people to lose their jobs this year alone.

Noting the rapid expansion of marriage equality, with the list of states allowing same-sex couples to marry expanding from 19 to 32 in the month of October alone, the editorial explains:

“Just 10 years ago, Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage, and just two years ago, the country was evenly split on the issue, 46 percent in favor and 44 percent opposed, according to one poll. Now the majority of Americans favor such unions, and that majority is growing more solid.

“The U.S. bishops, their lawyers and personnel directors have some hard choices to make in the next few weeks. What will they do with Catholic employees who enter valid legal marriages with partners of the same sex? To date, their track record on this issue has been bleak.”

That track record has been more than 40 LGBT-related employment disputes made public since 2008,  the first year in New Ways Ministry’s tracking of such actions.  Many of these church workers were committed and gifted people with years of experience and, as NCR notes, “There was no problem until they entered legal, civil marriages.” The editorial concludes:

“Church actions against these employees are unjust and must be rectified.

We do not here speak of the sacrament of matrimony. The issue we address is legally contracted civil marriages and employment. Church personnel policies must allow employees to enter into such marriages without fear of losing their jobs. The church can depend on First Amendment protections for the right to worship to safeguard the sacraments, and policies could delineate narrow ministerial exemptions when it comes to civil marriages, but for the vast majority of church employees, a legal marriage should not be a job impediment.”

Yet, the editorial is not optimistic about how American church leaders will respond and worries about a “protracted fight through the court system” similar to the high rhetoric against the HHS contraception mandate that “yields dubious results” and “will give no one justice.” You can access the editorial in full by clicking here.

Legal considerations should not be the only criteria informing church officials’ response as more and more church workers enter into and openly support same-gender marriages. In the footsteps of the synod’s initial recognition that gay people offer the church many gifts, Catholic institutions should also consider the value that LGBT employees offer.

One teacher, writing at The Huffington Post, explores what a gay teacher as role model would have meant for him. In a piece deeply applicable for Catholic schools, Blake O’Bryan Montgomery notes:

“Coming out to my students frightens me…But I want to say it, I want to say it; I want the queer among them to know they can grow up…

“LGBTQ visibility allows us to envision the lives we might lead; on an even more basic level, to learn that such lives are possible. I had no idea what I would be as an adult because I didn’t see anybody I could be…What I would have given to hear a high school teacher say, ‘I’m gay,’ ‘I’m a lesbian,’ ‘I’m queer;’ to tell me that I could grow up to be a person a young man would respect?…

“I was a queer student who would have gained a great deal of self-respect from a role model, and I’m asking you now, as a queer teacher, to please come out. If you might lose your job for your queerness, do all you can without coming out. I hope your workplace is a safe one.”

Catholic schools and parishes should become those safe workplaces where LGBT and ally church workers can teach and minister openly and in ways that enhance the lives of all. The employment disputes are deeply unjust and in violation of Catholic social justice teachings. Indeed, Cardinal Sean O’Malley, a leading US prelate, admitted as much in saying they “need to be rectified.”

Yet, excluding and expelling LGBT church workers is also about the deficiencies caused by such actions. There are the forgone possibilities of how dedicated employees could have enhanced classrooms, school activities, and spirituality. There is the pain inflicted on LGBT and questioning youth whose feelings of being unsafe or unloved are exacerbated by being in church institutions with no visible role models. There is the loss of younger Catholics turned off by institutional hatred who walk away from the church altogether.

The words of the National Catholic Reporter are worth repeating as the principle by which church leaders should instead proceed: “a legal marriage should not be a job impediment.”

For Bondings 2.0′s full coverage of these and other LGBT-related disputes, click the ‘Employment Issues‘ category to the right or click here. You can also find a full listing of the more than 40 incidents made public since 2008 by clicking here.

On a final note, as the National Catholic Reporter celebrates its 50th anniversary, Bondings 2.0 applauds the newspaper for not only providing phenomenal journalism, but for being an early and ongoing voice of solidarity with LGBT Catholics.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

What Makes a Catholic Family–Especially When Discord About LGBT Members Exists?

Peter Manseau

A recent piece in The New York Times asked the provocative question, “What is a Catholic Family?” Today, Bondings 2.0 samples a few reflections on Catholic families, and we hope our readers will continue the discussion ‘Comments’ section below by sharing a bit about what “family” means to you.

The original esssay by Peter Manseau was published in mid-October, during the Synod,  and  it includes historical background on just how greatly Catholic understandings of marriage and family life have changed over the centuries. He writes the synod’s discussions are “an indication that the idea of family is again evolving in Rome.” What does he mean by ‘again’?

Manseau reminds Catholics that, in the church’s earliest days, marriage was second to celibacy for it was “full of situations regarded as unpleasant by the saintly.” This mentality is pervasive up through the Second Vatican Council, and unofficialy today. In the  16th century’s Council of Trent, the participants noted the “pastoral issues” of their time such as kidnapped brides, and priests who were marrying. Of this, Manseau writes:

“In every instance, the question of who might constitute a family was a matter of how far those involved fell short of an unattainable ideal.

“Which is perhaps not so far from the supposedly ‘wounded’ and ‘irregular’ families that are largely the focus of the synod’s report…the synod’s bishops have not opened a big tent welcoming all those mentioned to fully participate in the life of the Catholic Church, and indeed they are unlikely to do so.

“Yet even quibbling over words of qualified welcome, they have reminded the faithful that their church has developed over time through conflict and contradiction, and may again.”

Manseau concludes with an allusion to the Holy Family–” a woman who conceived a child before she was married, a chaste stepfather who nearly divorced her as a result, and that original sign of contradiction, the human son of God”–and he asks two questions: “What family is not wounded?” and “Was any family ever more irregular than that?”

Anne Marie DeMint

In an essay for the Washington Post, Elizabeth Tenety explores one Catholic family’s struggle to welcome and to love their lesbian daughter and sister, Anne Marie DeMent. Tenety opens her piece on the 30-year-old from Maryland by writing:

“It’s hard to come out as gay…It is even harder when your parents are profoundly committed conservative Catholics, your brother is a prominent priest who represents traditional church views on Fox News, and you were raised to believe that everything the church teaches is true.”

DeMent came out to a highly conservative Catholic family, a family that her brother, celebrity priest Fr. Jonathan Morris, called an “idyllic Catholic family.” Her parents did not respond well, nor did extended relatives who used pastorally damaging language. Yet, she found her wife, Katie, to be “life-giving” and the two were married four years ago after DeMent recognized the Catholic Church was wrong on homosexuality and marriage equality.

Her family, however, has not fully evolved. Her mother, Sharon Morris, says “We’re trying to figure out what love is…We wanted to live our whole life for God.” DeMent’s parents and brother skipped the wedding, though a few siblings were present, and since then the couple has not been welcomed to Christmas.

The arrival of Pope Francis changed some of DeMent’s relationships, healed divisions between siblings, and even led to a softening tone from her brother, Fr. Morris, in his public appearances. As for her mother’s journey:

“When people try to remind Sharon Morris that the Catholic Church ‘loves the sinner but not the sin,’ she says: ‘It goes through me, because I think, “You don’t know my daughter. Do you know your own sin?” ‘ “

“Talking about gays as if ‘they’re a different creature…affects me differently now…That’s why I consider this [experience] a great grace.’ “

DeMent acknowledges the struggle, but continues to press on in relating to her conservative Catholic family.  She offers these inspiring words, perhaps the most Christian quote in the article:

” ‘I truly do not want to strong-arm or persuade my siblings or my parents to at any point go against their conscience in trying to accept me. And vice versa…I don’t want to move away from my personal conscience or what I think is right just in order to have this relationship…

” ‘That’s where, for me, my fundamental call for life is to pursue that. To pursue the good, to pursue love. When it hurts, to be able to look at my sister and understand that we might have these differences but that our learning to love each other is what lasts, is what is everlasting. . . . We’re called to a radical trust in love, a radical trust in each other, as our way forward.’ “

Indeed, growing up in my own family, it was a most radical love which held us together in diversity and even stark differences.  When asking what makes a Catholic family, I fathom the answer is something involving trust, love, and care. And I know DeMent and I are not the only ones who share this experience of love.

So what do you think? What makes a Catholic family? How do families respond in love when there are differences? Leave your thoughts in the ‘Comments’ section below.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

NEWS NOTES: Synod Responses from Around the Globe

The synod on the family has certainly prompted an immense amount of journalistic response and analysis.  Bondings 2.0 has tried to keep up with it in the best way that we can, selecting what we thought have been important articles or responses which highlight significant points.  We could not, of course, deal with everything that we found, but we know that some of you may be interested in reading further on this topic.  So, we present these “News Notes” on the synod for those who can’t seem to get enough of this important milestone in Catholic LGBT history.  This first installment carries perspectives from various parts of the globe:

1.  London’s Catholic Herald newspaper editorialized that the synod was like an “unfinished icon,” noting that “Icon painters say that prayer is essential to their work, and so the bishops have paused for a year of reflection, before meeting again for the second, larger family synod. We, too, should be praying that the synod fathers create a compelling image of Christ.”

2.  Italy’s Sandro Magister, a veteran Vatican observer, gives an insider’s look as to exactly how two of Pope Francis’ followers were able to open up the discussion in the synod toward a more inclusive view of homosexuality.  His analysis is part of La Repubblica’s online faith portal.

3. From Uganda, a nation which the institution and then repeal of a repressive anti-gay law, Nicholas Opiyo, a human rights and constitutional lawyer, penned a CNN.com op-ed noting that “I suggest that this is not a turning point particularly for the African Catholic community, but rather the start of an openness in debate that will take a long time to change the Church’s doctrinal teaching. In a deeply conservative Church that has for a long time viewed homosexuality as ‘an intrinsically disordered, contrary to natural law and cannot be approved under any circumstances,’ it will take more than a Synod statement to arrive at a turning point on the subject of homosexuality. A change in the doctrinal teaching/catechism of the church will take a long time and protracted debate in the Catholic community.”

4.  LGBT Catholics in the Diocese of Westminster, the archdiocesan pastoral outreach in and around the city of London, England, issued a response which said the synod’s final report “fails significantly to reflect the welcoming and pastorally sensitive discussions which took place during the first week of the Synod.”  However, noting that the vote was close, and that this report is not the final word, the ministry called upon “upon the Vatican and local Bishops’ Conferences to institute Listening Processes over the coming year, to include LGBT people, parents, and other family members, alongside theologians and experienced pastoral ministers.”

5.  Filipino gay rights advocate Danton Remoto, had been happy with the relatio’s first draft but, in the International Business Times, he added:  “We don’t expect major earthquakes to happen [during the synod] because the Catholic Church is an old institution and change will not happen overnight.”

6.  Filipina gay rights advocate Claire DeLeon told GMA News Online a mixed response to the synod’s report: “We are quite disappointed but we are appreciative that this issue has been opened for discussion.”  She added that the negative perception of LGBT people seems to be disappearing, and that the future of the discussion in the Catholic Church holds promise.

7. Ireland’s RTE News carried the response of Brian Sheehan, the head of the Irish Gay and Lesbian Equality Network: “It’s disappointing that a majority of bishops at the synod didn’t follow the Pope’s leadership and seek to include lesbian and gay people within the Catholic Church. Elements within the church are out of step in the laity. The reality is that there’s been a huge positive change in attitudes over the last 20 years to lesbian and gay people. And Irish people, the majority of whom are Catholics, warmly embrace their lesbian and gay family members and friends and their loving relationships. It’s a missed opportunity that the church didn’t seek to reflect that reality. ”

8.  AsianJournal.com reported on the statement of Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle, archbishop of Manila, Philippines, who said: “Let us not stereotype persons, countries, local churches. We are here, all of us have something to contribute. But all of us are also learning This Synod is unique because it’s happening in two stages. We have the whole year to continue studying and continue consulting people.”

9.  At Ekklesia.co.uk, Savi Hensman reviewed the synod, and included an important quote from Bishops Geoffrey Robinson at “The Ways of Love,” an international theological conference in Rome, which immediately preceded the synod. In regard to sexual teaching, Robinson said:  “Why should we turn to some abstraction in determining what is natural rather than to the actual lived experience of human beings? Why should we say that homosexuals are acting against nature when they are acting in accordance with the only nature they have ever experienced?” Hensman concluded the blog post by noting: “Many others too in the Roman Catholic church have been reflecting on how Gospel values can be reflected more truly in approaches to sexuality, and the Synod on the Family has encouraged greater openness about the diversity of views and experiences. What is more, Catholics are part of a wider Christian community where numerous others have been thinking seriously about sexual ethics. Moving beyond the use of depersonalising language and mere assertions which fail to convince, while remaining true to what is richest in the Christian heritage, is a challenging task for the churches as a whole.”

10. In the UK’s Telegraph, Cristo Foufas says that “Gay people shouldn’t care what the Catholic Church thinks.”  In this op-ed, Foufas expresses being tired of the Vatican’s traditional attitude toward homosexuality: “Whilst It’s heartening that there finally seems to be a Pope who is trying to build bridges with the gay community, it seems that the suggestion of being respectful, sensitive and welcoming to a minority group was just too much for some conservative Catholic bishops to bear. . . . It should come as no surprise that a good number of senior Catholic bishops in the synod are bigoted homophobes. What other explanation can there be for making a choice not to support and welcome a minority community who have no choice in their orientation at all? It’s exactly the same way that racists choose to hold prejudice against those people who haven’t an ounce of control over their skin colour. Hate rarely has logic.”

11. Australia’s Jesuit online magazine, Eureka Street, carried an editorial by Andrew Hamilton a consulting editor, examined the controversy of the dramatic change between the relatio’s two incarnations:

“It reflected partly an evident failure of the initial document to read accurately the sentiments of the participants. The voting on the amendments shows that clearly.  Such failure is inevitable in any such draft: that is why the final document reflects the definitive view of a meeting.

“In this case the controversy reflects another significant feature of transparent public conversation: the influence of the media. After the first draft public comments by the Bishops seemed exercised as much by the common journalists’ view that it heralded a rethinking of the Catholic understanding of homosexual relationships than by the content of the document. At all events they recast the document in order to close the door on these perceived implications of the draft. 

“This way of proceeding is understandable, but its disadvantages are also worth reflecting on. When phrases like ‘people who are homosexual must be ‘welcomed’, the ‘gifts and qualities’ of gay people and the ‘precious support’ they can offer one another are pulled from a public draft, the public perception is that they are not simply withdrawn from the text but that their opposites are commended. So people are to be made unwelcome, have no gifts and their support is valueless. The Catholic Church will now have much work to do to persuade people that this is not its meaning. .  . 

“If Pope Francis’ assessment of the Synod is as positive as I believe it is, we may expect from him dramatic gestures of encounter and compassion to God’s love that will reframe the questions addressed by the Synod in terms of the Gospel. “

12. The UK’s Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement welcomed the synod’s final report with Chief Executive Tracey Byrne saying, ‘The outcome of the Synod represents a significant shift in thinking and a brave move by those willing to affirm their support for gay and lesbian people. A substantial majority of the cardinals, only slightly short of the two-thirds majority needed, voted in support of the draft statement, and it’s being reported that a number who voted against the statement did so because they felt it did not go far enough in its support for gay and lesbian people. Pope Francis is to be applauded for convening the Synod, and for providing an opportunity for Catholics around the world to contribute to this ongoing process of listening and discernment in such an open way.”  You can read Byrne’s full statement by clicking here.

13.  London’s Guardian newspaper praised Pope Francis for his management of the synod, but also concluded with this cautionary note and call to action: “This is the Catholic church. The surest sign that things are changing will be a barrage of announcements that nothing has changed, can change, or will change. In this view, the doctrine can only be developed into a more refined expression of the same eternal truths, even if its interpretation becomes the exact opposite. But however the official formulation is refined, the practice on the ground, in parishes, must now change. The old and rigid artificial unity is now smashed. In that sense Pope Francis, and the liberals, have already won.”

14. Lebanon’s The Daily Star published reactions to the synod’s final report including one from Ute Eberl, a German family counselor who attended the meeting.  She said that the event got the church “out of its comfort zone … to hear about real life for families around the world.”

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

CAMPUS CHRONICLES: Notre Dame Offers Benefits to Same-Sex Couples, While Set to Host “Gay in Christ” Conference

University of Notre Dame’s campus

The University of Notre Dame’s progress on LGBT issues has been a gradual process, but one that is making headway since the unveiling of the University’s pastoral plan in 2012. Still, recent incidents show a campus in tension on this path to full inclusion.

Last week, Notre Dame and its sister school, Saint Mary’s College, notified employees that benefits would now be available to same-gender spouses as marriage equality becomes law in Indiana. A university email obtained by the South Bend Tribune, said in part:

“This means that the law in Indiana now recognizes same-sex marriages and the University will extend benefits to all legally married spouses, including same-sex spouses…

“Notre Dame is a Catholic university and endorses a Catholic view of marriage. However, it will follow the relevant civil law and begin to implement this change immediately.”

Notre Dame is one of the first religiously-affiliated colleges to observe the new law, as other Christian universities are refusing to comply with the latest court rulings. One staff member who is openly gay, Aaron Nichols, said of the announcement:

” ‘Being an out staff member, I feel a lot more confident that my concerns are being heard and responded to…The university is no longer acting in a vacuum…That makes me proud to be ND.’ “

However, not all members of the Notre Dame community are reacting positively. Aleteia reports that Holy Cross Father Wison D. Miscamble, a history professor, spoke with young alumni in Washington, DC on the topic: “For Notre Dame: Battling for the Heart and Soul of a Catholic University.” He gave out Notre Dame president Fr. John Jenkins’ personal email and encouraged alumni to write negatively of the decision.

Bishop Kevin Rhoades of Fort Wayne-South Bend added his criticism, saying Notre Dame should have waited for a “study of what the law requires” so that Catholic institutions are not “compelled to cooperate in the application of the law redefining marriage.” In response, President Jenkins said Rhoades was consulted before and after the decision’s announcement, and a University spokesperson defended Notre Dame’s decision.

Additionally, the University is set to host a traditionally inclined conference titled “Gay in Christ.” The conference, hosted by the Institute for Church Life and the Gender Relations Center, will “explore how Catholic institutions can coexist comfortable with gay Catholics” and focus on pastoral outreach, according to Indiana Public Radio.

Institute director John Cavadini said the conference has been a point of controversy on campus, adding:

” ‘I feel like our imaginations get cramped. . . We get caught in ways of thinking and don’t allow ourselves to think a little bit farther and this conference is meant to help us think a little bit farther.’ “

However, the conference is not as open ended as Cavadini portrays it. “Gay in Christ” focuses on outreach to “self-identified gay Catholics who accept Church teaching,” and speakers are predominantly Catholics advocating celibacy as the only option for lesbian and gay people. In fact, a writer for Slate recently highlighted the conference and torturously argued that the path of celibacy could be a path for acceptance of lesbian and gay people in the Church.

Bondings 2.0 has previously covered how dangerous and damaging mandatory celibacy can be for LGBT persons, the majority of whom do not discern that God is inviting them to such a lifestyle.

While Notre Dame is to be commended for the several initiatives it has made in enacting the pastoral plan, “Beloved Friends and Allies,” the presence of such a conference on campus proves there is still work to be done.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Actress Ellen Page & Singer Ariana Grande Criticize Catholics’ Anti-LGBT Actions

After a month of synod coverage, Bondings 2.0 changes pace and offers some recent celebrity news relating to Catholic LGBT issues. Yet, these two items are not throw away items because their impact on younger Catholics’ faith is probably far greater than anything which happened during the last month’s synod.

High School Denies Access for Ellen Page Film

A New York Catholic high school has reversed its decision to allow Ellen Page’s new movie about a same-gender couple’s fight for legal recognition to film on the school’s campus.

Salesian High School in New Rochelle, NY had approved a request for Freeheld to film, but later told production staff that was no longer possible. According to BuzzFeed,

“Michael Shamberg, Freeheld’s producer, told BuzzFeed News that he then appealed to Salesian’s principal, John Flaherty, who told Shamberg to send an email that he could forward to Father John Serio, the school’s president. After doing that, Shamberg never heard back from Serio, and Freeheld shot the scene somewhere else.

Principal Flaherty later told BuzzFeed in a statement that “all are welcomed at Salesian High School” and the school focuses on “helping the less fortunate.” In appealing to administrators, Shamberg told them the film is “about recognizing the dignity of a woman who was a brave civil servant” and further:

” ‘I believe the theme of the movie is what Pope Francis recognized when he called for the church to welcome and accept gay people.’ “

Freeheld, which stars Page, as well as Julianne Moore, tells the real life story of a lesbian couple’s fight for domestic partner benefits when one of them, a police detective, becomes terminally ill with lung cancer. Page, who herself came out as gay earlier this year, tweeted support for LGBT students following the incident:

“Using religion to justify bigotry makes me sad. Sending my support 2 the LGBT students at the school who I hope r able 2 find acceptance.”

Ariana Grande with brother Frankie

Ariana Grande Leaves Catholicism

Pop singer Ariana Grande publicly announced she was leaving the Catholic Church because of LGBT issues. The UK daily The Telegraph reported:

“Grande was raised a Catholic, but in adolescence began questioning her faith out of love and support for her brother, who is gay. ‘When my brother was told that God didn’t love him I was like, “OK, that’s not cool.” They were building a Kabbalah centre in Florida so we both checked it out and really had a connection with it.’ “

Commenting on Grande’s decision, GLAAD News Director Ross Murray noted that Grande, and her celebrity brother Frankie, did not abandon the church, but were “actively chased away from the faith they were nurtured in.” Murray continues:

“This isn’t just about the Roman Catholic Church, although they get more than their share of attention. All faith communities need to examine what their message is, not just because that message is damaging to the people who have to hear and internalize them (although it is), but for the health and future of the faith. It may be easy for some traditions to write off the LGBT people they lose by these messages. What they often don’t count on is how much they lose the rest of their membership.

“I ask for each of us who identify as people of faith to examine our messages, and what impact those messages have, not just on the LGBT people themselves, but on the rest of those who are hearing.  Does our message match what we’ve learned about God to be true? Do we best share the gospel by pushing people away? Are we letting our light shine so that we can glorify our God in heaven? Are our words producing good fruit?”

As the global church asks some of these same questions during the ongoing synodal process around marriage and family life, it is worth reflecting on how the above incidents are forming faith in younger Catholics. Though the synod made secular media, it is not likely that teenage and young adult Catholics followed the happenings too closely — and making sense of it even baffled journalists in Rome at times.

What is far more formative are the tweets and public statements of figures like Ellen Page and Ariana Grande in portraying the Catholic Church as opposing LGBT people. That message sticks in youth’s minds. When coupled with personal experiences of discrimination and prejudice by Catholic institutions, like Salesian High School, it is a highly potent “vaccine against faith” as Pope Francis phrased it.

While younger Catholics are overwhelmingly pro-equality, they are also far more willing to walk away from Catholic faith and find religious homes elsewhere. All the episcopal deliberations in the world are irrelevant if the public perception about Catholicism remain unchanged.

Perhaps Pope Francis’ greatest gift is his ability to produce “tweet-able” statements in support of LGBT people, like his famous “Who am I to judge?”

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry